Peer Editing
Project #1
1st Draft Peer-Editing Evaluation
I want to start off by saying that I did not realize the hard work that goes into editing someone’s essay. I actually did not start marking up Dave’s paper until the third time reading it. It took me a while to get past the fact that I am just a person, that has no schooling in ‘editing’ and I am putting my marks on something I have no right to put my marks on. But with that aside, I got past that and I really hope this helps Dave.
To start out, the first line in this paper really caught my attention. Helen Keller was a courageous woman that went through a lot of things. The way she described our sense of smell was very interesting me. As I read through the paper Dave writes about our human sense of smell, how it helps us define danger, identify our surroundings, brings up past memories, gives us the ability to taste food. I really enjoyed the part about how department stores have the perfume that just all around makes the atmosphere more inviting. The part when he mentions Abercrombie & Fitch really caught my attention, because I look forward to that smell every time I visit my favorite store!
Dave makes a lot of interesting points, and uses a lot of interesting quotes from different sources. I found a few grammatical errors, which I probably have on my paper as well. As I read the paper, the topics seem to jump around a lot and seem to be a bit scattered. Also, although I love the ending sentence, I think there should be a little more text for the closing paragraph. Something that will tie everything together, maybe even another quote from Helen Keller, since the beginning was so strong. All together I thought this was a great essay. With a little help from me hopefully Dave can make it even better!
Project #1
2nd Draft Peer-Editing Evaluation
First of all, I want to say great job Dave! The 1st draft was great, it kept my interest the entire time, there were just the typical mistakes of a 1st draft, a lack of references and just needed a tune up. Dave accomplished this very well. Rather than a few typical grammatical errors, this piece is great.
Again, like I’m sure I mentioned in his summary of his 1st draft, the quote by Helen Keller at the beginning really caught my attention. Plus, the 2nd draft has a title. ‘The Memory Sense: Smell’ That title brings this entire essay together perfectly. It isn’t too flashy, it is just straight and to the point. Which makes it very easy to read, and quite enjoyable.
The references Dave chose to add to this piece were VERY interesting. I am into the health field, and he inserted a lot of medical facts into this essay and it added a lot of fun information to read about. It was balanced out by his voice and by studies with the sense of smell. Very good job Dave, excellent 2nd draft.
