Peer Editing #2
Project #2
Peer Editing #2 1st Draft Review
After reading Julie’s essay, Secretary Mother, I really feel like I related to her piece. The title really was revealed through the entire essay and expanded into many different directions about being a mother, and a secretary. I think, to get the reader’s attention, in the beginning she should add a quote or insert from a famous ‘mother’ in the world, or etc. The title is such a strong title; it needs something in the first paragraph to really grab the reader.
Like Julie, my mother plays a big part in my life. I do not know where I would be without her. Julie really puts that importance into her writing, and I really enjoyed that. Julie’s closing paragraph was awesome, I loved it. Just the wording and placement of everything really had a neat ending to the piece.
With all of these points said, all around I believe this was a very well put together first draft, and hopefully with my help we can get it even better! Just a few grammar errors to be corrected, along with adding two more resources to work cited page and in-text citations.
