Autoethnography 5 pg. Draft
Shannon K. McMeans
Professor Harrison
English 101-013
30 March 2009
Who is Shannon Kelly McMeans?
Who am I? Who is Shannon Kelly McMeans? Walking into this semester, I had mixed emotions when asked the question, ‘what is I?’ Up until that specific day in my life, I never was asked those three little words. How could I be 21 years old and still not known who I am? To be honest, this question triggered interest within me, and as I sit here today and write this, I think I have a better grasp on the simple question, ‘what is I.’ With that said, I believe I will never truly be able to put exactly who I am on a piece of paper. Through this autoethnography, I will be answering the question, ‘who is Shannon Kelly McMeans?’ Hopefully, by the end of this essay, my thoughts will smoothly go on to my paper and create a detailed base of exactly who I am up until this point in my life.
“And by the way, everything in life is writeable about if you have the outgoing guts to to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self doubt.” Stated by Sylvia Plath. This quote really would have come in handy at the beginning of the semester in English 101 with Marlen. Words can not explain the emotions I had after the first day of class. I was starting back to school for the fourth time in my life, and to be honest, did not know exactly what to think. After high school I attended Cambria-Rowe Business College for 18 months, graduated with an Associate’s Degree in Medical Office Administration. After graduation, I was employed at Indiana Regional Medical Center, where I worked crazy shifts. From that point, I decided to return to school to major in Radiology and started at Westmoreland County Community College. At WCCC I took the typical pre-requisite classes required as a basis of any major, until I decided to move to Florida. My grandmother lives in Fort Myers, Florida and at the time I thought that I needed to move there. With that said I quit my job, finished the semester at WCCC, packed my bags and was set to go. Approximately two weeks before I was to move, I decided that I did not want to move anymore. My boxes of belongings were shipped back home and I was at a place in my life where I did not know what I wanted to do. My dad’s friend was starting up a business and needed some help with the office work, so I decided to give it a try and see where that took me. It is very obvious to say that I was a bit indecisive at this specific point in my life. With all of this said, I am currently still working at the ‘start-up business’ I mentioned above, and now am attending Indiana University of Pennsylvania double majoring in Business Education and Business Technical Support. I can honestly say, the confusion is behind me, and I have found my career in this crazy world.
Back to the quote I mentioned above by Sylvia Plath, as I have become a writer this semester, I have learned a lot about myself. I have realized just what in my life makes me who I am, and what vital points keep my life intact everyday. I wrote many blogs and a handful of essays, and they all lead back to my faith, family, and experiences in my life. “It’s surprising how much of memory is built around things unnoticed at the time”, stated by Barbara Kingsolver.
For my one taste blog entry, I wrote about the chocolate covered strawberries I ate on a trip with my family. It is amazing how one simple taste can trigger such a vivid memory, I wrote:
That week I got to see a lot of great things, like the famous Arneson river theater. At this exact theater, they filmed the pageant scene in Miss Congeniality. This fun fact always excited me because I loved the movie. Also, I got to go to the famous fancy restaurants and boutiques on the river. All of these great experiences will be in my memory forever, but none of this had an affect on me like the delicious taste of the chocolate strawberries.
As I sit and read over all of my essays, it is amazing to me how the different topics Marlen gave us to write about, most of the time, all went back to the three main categories I stated above, my faith, family, and experiences in my life. I wrote a lot of great things about my family, and great memories I got to experience with all of them.
The essay that has impacted me the most through this semester is my essay I wrote on the sense of taste, which led me to writing a beautiful essay on my grandfather. I wrote:
Every year on October 11th my subconscious tells me the day is here. And my mind wonders back to the day he had to go. His time here on earth was up, and with time, I have learned to accept this. I have researched the word grandpa just to see if anyone has captured the true meaning of the word. All I find is the common responses to the word, the father of a father or mother, a man who is an ancestor, etc. This leads me to the conclusion that I, as a person, have my own personal meaning of the word. I have a lifetime of memories that define my Papa, and I will have that within me until the day I join him in heaven. This factor is enough to get me through each day.
To lose someone is a terrible thing, but it comforts me that I was able to write such a beautiful piece, that I got to give to my grandma. It is a very interesting thing that so many memories were triggered just by the five topics of our senses, taste, touch, smell, hear and see. At the beginning of the semester, I was horrible. Yes, that is probably not the best thing to say in a paper, but it is the truth. I was so used to the typical requirements for a paper and I usually just wrote what I had to write and that was it. Well can I just say that does not get you anywhere in Marlen’s class. Marlen opened up great opportunities for me, as a person, to explore myself and write straight from my heart.
In my third essay, the topic was our sense of smell. Of all my essays, I really feel that this essay showed my voice in a very entertaining way. I wrote my essay as the four seasons, and what my sense of smell experienced in these seasons. I got my idea from Miley Chen’s Winter Day piece. I wrote:
June, July and August all have something in common; together they create the season of summer. With this beautiful warm season, the nose is introduced to many unique smells. One that immediately comes to mind is the rich chemical scent of chlorine entering my nose, as I run and do a canon ball into the bright blue pool. I float in the aroma, and am also aware of the crisp green lawn that smells of dandelions, grasshoppers, weeds and rich soil. It is as if the grass has its own personal perfume, which I look forward to during this specific time of year. “In June, as many as a dozen species may burst their buds on a single day. No man can heed all of these anniversaries; no man can ignore all of them” very well put by Aldo Leopold.
My second piece of writing, which I really think reveals my voice is a blog I wrote on my sense of sight. The genre I chose for this piece was a poem. I wrote:
I am back to a familiar place again
I am comfortable with my routine
I look forward to the faces that greet me
I feel so much emotion
These reflections have a very strong affect on my being
I wonder what they see
The poem was about what I wake up and see every morning, and continues on what I see during my day. The piece I chose to insert into this essay was the strongest line in the entire piece. It is about going home to my family, the emotions I feel when I am home and how I am very happy with where I am at in my life.
